forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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