And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
