That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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