that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize