wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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