My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize
