So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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