"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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