He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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