oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
