you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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