would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
