PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
