i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I deserve this hangover.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
