if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
