Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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