worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
