haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Drunk is not a location!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
