And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
