I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
