i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
dude. I can hear the air.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
