She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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