I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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