No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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