coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
