Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
