So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
