all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
