who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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