How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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