so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
