i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
