Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
