On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize