Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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