he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
