Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
