shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
