I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
