.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
