i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he shaved USA in his pubs
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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