I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
