There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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