If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
