Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
