He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
