Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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