Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
