Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my shit smells like andre
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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