There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
