"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
