I'm jealous of your bromance
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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