I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
