please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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