is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
