At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
someone get that fucking seahorse.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
sex in a hospital.. check
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
