Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
